Rant fully loaded and ready to go

At some point in my life, I don't know when but I matured, and with that maturity unfortunately came the inability to suffer immaturity. I may not be the most mature and by God I know I have a lot of growing to do, but I have gained standards. I know what I want and I don't necessarily know how to get it but I know I'm going to try to find out. I will not accept hypocrisy. I will accept disagreement, but I will not accept unfounded illogical contrary arguments build on Strawman theories to maintain your security. I will not accept pre-judgment. I realize this is prejudice, at the connotation of this is somewhat limited to discrimination and people forget that denotative really it means to judge before knowing.

I know my faults, and if you've read this far, first of all what the hell is wrong with you why are you still reading this? And second of all you know my faults too. I'm rude. If you've known me 5 years or longer, you know I am less rude today than I was 5 years ago. I'm also quick to apologize if you let me know I was rude. I'm petty and vengeful. I now think those thoughts instead of acting on them. The best revenge is my success. I am impatient, but I have learned the best things are earned with time. So I pace, I fidget, and I wait. Waiting is agony, but I've been through worse. I'm sensitive. Yes, I am hypersensitive. I always feel offended and attacked, but not by the things that would offend or upset normal people. No I'm offended by semantics. "Why is it I look nice TODAY. Did I not yesterday?" I am neurotic and insecure (see previous quotation.) I am, unfortunately, dramatic. It's something I'm working on, but I feel it is easier to be less dramatic when there is also less drama in your life. Even when I don't want drama some seems to find its way to me.

But for those of you who know me I pros far outweigh my cons I am efficient. I am productive. I am loyal. I am honest. I am fair. I am open minded. I am accepting. I am logical. I am loving and passionate. I am intelligent goddamnit, and unashamed. I can be humble when needed but I am not afraid to love myself and celebrate myself, and that is new.

I know what I want in a mate, someone stronger than me which may be hard to come by. (Well, at least someone stronger than me who also won't punch my face. That is probably going to be hard to come by, and I realize that.) I need my equal, I need my balance, I need someone I can submit to, someone who wants to lead so I can follow.

I am amazing and I will not allow for anyone to make me feel any less than that. It took me a long time to begin to believe that and I'm not gonna let anyone take that away from me.

Opinion v. Preference

Ironically, enough everyone is NOT entitled to their own opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own evidentiary opintion. Everyone is entitled to there own founded opinion. However, no one has the right to throw out ideas simply because he/she thought it. One must have proof.

Organized religion... eh... I'd rather have a kind atheists or agnostic over a mean Christian,  Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, etc. Btw, I know more of the latter.

Finally, combining the previous statements. Everyone does have a right to his/her own preference, as long as that preference affects no one else. For example, a person has the right to dislike black people. He/she has the right to unfounded bigotry. That person does not have to have black friend. Be a bigot! However, he/she can't discriminate based on race. If a black person is the best qualified, then that person gets the job.

I have the right to dislike people in organized religion or like some and not others. That is my preference.  I don't have the right to say people in oraginzed religion are mean. That is an opinion and requires validation.

Leap of Faith

I was thinking, just really reflecting. I envy women who are married without kids. I am jealous even. A man chose them for who they are individually.  Not me, I was a baby mama first.

Does my husband love me? Yes. Does he love me for me? I will never know. He loves me as a mother. He love me as the almost wife I was to him. We will never know if he truelly loves me. For that, I will always be insecure.

It is easier to choose not to loose something you already have, than to choose the unknown. He did not step out on faith to get what he has. He did not choose me; he chose our family.

No justice no peace? Well ignorance is the greatest injustice we have.

http://michigancitizen.com/court-rules-michigan-has-no-responsibility-to-provide-quality-public-education/

So, apparently we don't actually have to educate children.  I have always been a social Darwinist, a jaded cynical educator with radical ideas which are the product of venting. But this is real! Try your best and if the kids are dumb oh well? Move to a better neighborhood?  Don't be poor?

As teachers, we get a bum wrap, the shaft, thrown under the bus, insert idiom at infinitum, but we have to try. If we say it is OK not to educate our poorest children in the same month we say it's ok to kill them what future do we have?

In writing most people insert quotes from powerful or notable figures to prove their point. It carries weight and clout. I will say this: the greatness of a people is measure not by its upper echelon but by its lowest caste. Notice that it's not in quotes... why? Because I said it, you can quote me. The treatment of our poorest children is the barometer by which we should judge ourselves. If we choose to or let others kill and incarcerate them instead of educate them who are we?

My black boys

I will raise them to be smart. I will raise them to be kind. I will raise them to be respectful.  I will raise them to be loving. I will raise them to be skeptical. I will raise them to be wary. I will raise them to be aware.

I will raise them to have intellect. I will raise them to have integrity.  I will raise them to have patience.  I will raise them to have fear. I will raise them to have humility.  I will raise them to have persistence. 

I will raise them to be smart enough to know danger no matter what face or uniform it wears.
I will raise them to be kind to those who may not be kind to them.
I will raise them to be respectful to any and all authority figures even if they are not respectful to you. 
I will raise them to be loving to the neighbor who misjudge them.
I will raise them to be skeptical of all information from sources friendly and foreign.
I will raise them to be wary of all actions and statement a of others.
I will raise them to be aware of all peo o let and surroundings.

I will raise them to have intellect so that they can decipher ignorance and conjecture from knowledge and truth.
I will raise them to have integrity so that they uphold the law of right when others fail to do so. 
I will raise them to have patience so that they can suffer all the injustice they will face. 
I will raise them to have fear because it is the basest and most natural indicator of danger.
I will raise them to have humility so they will always be seen for who they are not what they do. 
I will raise them to have persistence because they must succeed in a system that was not designed for them.

Heads high, minds open, heart pure, and unfortunately hands up. That's how I will raise my black boys. I want them to survive long enough to change this, so this is not how they have to raise their black boys.

Ferguson

I should blog this, and it will fuck up my notifications but... a grand jury is supposed to see if the evidence should be brought to trial and can get a conviction. Putting him on trial would not bring a conviction.  All that has to be proven is he feared for his life. How can we prove he didn't fear for his life? The law is fucked up.

But all the black people complaining, how many of ya'll voted in the midterm elections? Statistically, most of the disenfranchising laws are passed during midterms, not presidential elections. You want to change the system? First participate then protest.

Willful ignorance kills more of us daily then cops crack and crime. No human has the right to take another humans life, but the laws are to blame when he gets away with it. The death is on him, the lack of indictment is on us.

Bill and Bull

Stop being blind! Whether the rape allegations against Bill Cosby are true they bring up a sad truth: people still doubt rape. They are highly skeptical. I've read more criticism than open minded maybe and I don't knows. I real life I am pleasantly surprised when I meet, a women over 30 who says she hasn't been raped or molested. 1 in 3 people! And 1 in 10 are reported. I'm not saying it happened I honestly don't know, but I know I could have. Any man could be a rapist, and any female could be a victim statistically.