I was thinking, just really reflecting. I envy women who are married without kids. I am jealous even. A man chose them for who they are individually. Not me, I was a baby mama first.
Does my husband love me? Yes. Does he love me for me? I will never know. He loves me as a mother. He love me as the almost wife I was to him. We will never know if he truelly loves me. For that, I will always be insecure.
It is easier to choose not to loose something you already have, than to choose the unknown. He did not step out on faith to get what he has. He did not choose me; he chose our family.
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